Have you noticed how some salespeople are relentless in trying to overcome your objections to buying? Most of them are taught that the more objections you have the more interested you are in whatever they are selling. I know how this “dance” works because I have taught and coached hundreds of sales professionals over the years. It wasn’t until I read S.P.I.N. Selling
by Neil Rackham about 15 years ago that I understood that to be a successful salesperson/Financial Advisor you have to understand the psychology of the buying/decision making process. Rackam uncovered the truth about buyers responding better to their salesperson/advisor when they asked questions that uncovered problems.

Uncovering problems leads the buyer to acknowledge that there is a problem in the first place that needs to be addressed (one they may not believe exists). Even after addressing all of your objections you still might have resistance to moving forward and changing your “buying” behavior or in this case your “financial” behavior.

A Financial Advisor can sit with you and address all of your concerns but you still might walk away dissatisfied. Why? The answer is because you haven’t necessarily come to terms with the fact that there is a problem. You haven’t worked through the natural process to overcome your resistance to making changes because from where you sit you aren’t convinced yet that there is a problem.

In the book Facilitating Financial Health the authors Rick Kahler and Dr. Brad Koontz makes the point that there are six stages associated with overcoming our resistance to change. They sound a little clinical but see if you see yourself in any of these stages.

1. Pre-Contemplation – This is where people don’t realize that they have a problem. For example it could be overspending or a lack of understanding as to how much money it will take to retire at a reasonable age. You have heard the term, ignorance is bliss”. That fits into this stage.
2. Contemplation – This is where you finally realize that you have a financial problem and you are at least considering making a change within the next year. You might still feel ambivalent about that change but at least you have broken through the barrier to understanding the need for change.
3. Preparation – Here your time frame for action has shortened to 1-3 months. You know that you need to take action and you are ready to start putting a plan together. You are willing to put that budget together and make changes to your spending and saving habits.
4. Action – Now you are ready to implement those plans that you started in stage 3. You work with your financial planner to execute on your plan. You may still have some concerns that need to be addressed but you are ready to work on overcoming them compared to where you were in Stages 1 and 2.
5. Maintenance – The changes you have made are now part of your life style. Congratulations! Sure you will have some setbacks and relapses but your mind is ready to accept the changes as a beneficial part of your life now. Here you can automate many of your financial transactions such as contributing to your 401(k), paying bills, etc. which will minimize those relapses.
6. Termination – In this stage you have made permanent changes with little chance of reverting to old bad financial behavior. You and your planner meet periodically to monitor your plan and make asset allocation adjustments. You have a true partnership with your planner. You may even refer your planner to your friends and family as a result of your satisfaction with the partnership that you have developed.

So what can we learn from this discussion of resistance? First, resistance is a normal part of the behavior change process. Second, if you try to shortcut the stages you probably won’t be successful in overcoming the resistance. In fact if you don’t have some objections to overcome when you meet with a financial advisor it probably means you are not connecting with him/her at an emotional level. The days of having a financial advisor pat you on the knee and say, “there, there, I will take care of everything” are over just as they are in the medical profession.

The most successful financial advisor/client relationships from my experience are true “partnerships”. You need to connect with your advisor so I recommend that you not settle for anything less. It’s normal to resist changes to your financial behavior. Don’t beat yourself up. Give yourself time to work through these stages. When you are ready then find an advisor you can truly partner with; someone who understands that it will take time to get you on track to a successful financial journey. Plan well. Live better.

Click here if you want to explore my financial coaching service. I also offer free 30 minute Clarity Session as well.

Time Out!
What stage of overcoming resistance to changes in your financial life are you in? You can leave a comment here.