If you happen to be a parent then you can hopefully understand what I mean when I say that the older we get the more we appreciate our parents, or at least understand them. Raising our own children puts us in touch with what our parents had to put up with back when we thought we were the perfect teenagers. Yeah, right. In other words, life gives us perspective.

Life’s experiences also provide us the opportunity to learn from our parents’ mistakes when it comes to managing money and other aspects of personal finance.

My grandfather spent the last year of his life in a Medicaid approved nursing home. That was in 1974. For those of you who are not familiar with Medicaid it is the state’s long-term care program for the poor. In order to qualify you have to be poor or become poor. For more details on Medicare click here. My grandparents were not what I would call “poor” but they could not afford a suitable facility for my grandfather when he needed critical care. I idolized my grandfather and it killed me to see him in what I felt at the time was a “dump” of a care facility surrounded by people who didn’t care for him like I did. It left a lasting impression on me. You see, he developed pancreatic cancer and was given just a few months to live. He lasted almost a year. He and my grandmother moved in with us during my senior year in high school shortly after his diagnosis. The sicker he got the more difficult it became for my mother and grandmother to care for him.

The nursing home that he moved into was close to our home but it became clear with each of our visits that the “care” in this Medicaid facility was lacking to say the least. When you go on Medicaid they tell you where to go for care. It’s not your choice as it has to be a Medicaid-approved facility and as the saying goes, “you get what you pay for”. Among other things my grandfather’s money and watch were stolen by employees and they were not understanding of his failing mental capacity due to his advancing cancer. In short it was a nightmare.

As I stated, that experience left an indelible mark on my psyche and I pledged that my parents would not end up on Medicaid. When I became a Financial Advisor I made it my mission for my parents to get long-term care insurance. I thought the experience with my grandfather would sway my parents as it did me so as to not have to face the prospect of having to rely on Medicaid. As with a lot of people like my parents other life “priorities” got in the way over the years and by the time they got around to getting serious about looking into long-term care insurance they found that they couldn’t afford it. By that time my Mother was diagnosed with Type 2 Diabetes and my Dad had high blood pressure.

With no other viable option we were able to arrange for a Medicaid Asset Protection Trust or MAPT as it is often called. The MAPT protects assets like your home and your life savings that would otherwise have to be used before Medicaid kicks in to pay for care. The MAPT does not provide care it is a defensive tactic. For people like my parents who don’t have the assets to cover a critical care stay in a long term care facility it is a wonderful tool.

Is it what I envisioned for my parents after what we experienced with my grandfather? No, it is a huge disappointment. I don’t know what I could have done differently short of writing the check for a policy myself. Even that would not have worked as pride comes before charity in many families. Fortunately, I did follow through and get long-term care insurance for my wife and myself. Even though the lesson skipped a generation my grandfather taught me an important lesson about taking care of my family. Although I’m sure it wasn’t the way he intended the lesson to be learned.

I believe that each generation has an obligation to improve from the previous one. It is often because of the mistakes of our parents and grandparents that we learn and hopefully succeed where they failed.

Time Out! What financial lessons have you learned from your parents’ life experiences? You can leave a comment here.